i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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