nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We're too hungover to prance.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
