Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
