her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
