he thought i was a dude.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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