Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize