Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
