Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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