It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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