I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
