if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
