you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
