How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
