My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
