3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
