K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A+ Viking dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
