moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize