Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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