HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
smell my finger.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
