google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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