Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
