We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
