Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
