Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
