so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
