ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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