Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
