ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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