We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
