He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
