Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
