Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
