The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
