I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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