Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
