rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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