i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
