She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize