I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
