he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
time to smoke my breakfast
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
