my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize