someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize