you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
