K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
