I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
