...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
