I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And then he peed in my hair
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