Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The uberlube is also flammable
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
