what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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