oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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