Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
