I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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