So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
