just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
