The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
