somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
