About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
