Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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