Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
