At least make sure they are 18
Why
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
