He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i think my cat just said my name.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize