you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
