At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
