that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
