there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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