We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
