I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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