Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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