3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
