Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I am morally bankrupt
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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