Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
