So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
