Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
