this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
