I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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