Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
