I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
