You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Your penis caused this!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
